Smooth jazz as fuck?
Smooth jazz's new fan base
San Francisco, CA - In a nation where, to the dismay of parents, the average teen listens to
such popular artists as Marilyn Manson, Type O Negative or more underground bands as Anal Cunt and Pig Destroyer; a new
musical movement is taking place. With its roots in Berkley's famous Gillman St., a new generation of fans
are sharing their parents love for contemporary smooth jazz artists.
"It happened when there was a severe mix-up with the booking of
a Kenny G show" muses
crusty punk Kain Hubbleson. "He was booked to play at the identical
street number but on Gulmen street which is 2 blocks over. He started
setting up at the wrong club and no one recognized him. At the time,
I thought he was the bassist for Jungle Rot who were up first. By
the time everyone figured out the mistake Kenny said fuck it and
went on".
The show was a phenomenal success with much of the crowd, many
of them never realizing that Kenny's aggressive soprano sax playing
had much in common with early American hardcore acts such as Minor
Threat and Black Flag. Indeed, Kenny sat in with Floridian grindcore
band Dying Fetus on a few songs and left onlookers stunned.
"I went home and gathered up all my Terrorizer, Cock Sparrer and
Casualties LP's and gave them gave them to my bible thumping nephew."
comments Gary of realskinheads.net. "I then traveled the country
with a couple friends for six months going to David Sanborn concerts.That
bitch can play contemporary alto sax like a mother
fucker."
Warren Hill roadie.
Smooth jazz shows in the Bay area have taken in a much more varied crowd lately with
a recent stabbing at a George Benson concert alarming longtime fans. "I used to call into my local smooth jazz radio station and win tickets to shows with no problem
but now I never win and when they play the comments by the winners on the air it's usually something like 'Sweet fucking big ass fucking titties!' except they
would beep out fucking and titties." comments Paul Hanson, vice president of Origins Marketing Group. "Now I go to shows and there's fights, vomit on the floor
and the shows have gotten a lot louder - I don't know if the artists are trying to pacify their new fan base but I went to a Warren Hill show a couple weeks
ago and my ears were still ringing two days later. Vince Denham (the flutist) was wasted and fucked up a couple of their songs they usually play flawlessly."
It looks as though the normally clashing yuppies and punks will
have to learn to compromise through their mutual love of the relaxing
strands of chords from bands such as Spryo Gyra and Above the Clouds
who have recently been getting airplay on MTV. It's a smooth world
after all.
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