SIOUX CITY, SD - "Have your ever dropped a roll of toilet paper
in the bathroom and have it land in the toilet bowl?" asks Frank
Steward, former consultant with Uncle
Booger's Bumper Dumper Corporation. Many Americans probably
can attest to this statement according to a recent survey. The Independent
Survey Group claims 84% of all things dropped anywhere in the bathroom
end up in the toilet bowl. More than half of the rolls of toilet
paper that accidently fall into the toilet bowl are the last roll
in the house.
"It got steadily worse and worse for me. It started with the toilet
paper, toothpaste, and soap but the 'throw in the towel' moment
was when I was coming home from work one day. I had an armful of
groceries and after fumbling with the keys and stumbling thru the
front door I dropped them on the ground. I put the groceries down
and went to retrieve my keys and couldn't find them. Looked for
20 minutes. Then I went to the bathroom and they were in the toilet
bowl. Now that's at least 60 feet away. On top of it someone had
done #2 in the bowl. I was about ready to call in an exorcist."
Frank Steward.
At that point Frank laid the groundwork for his revolutionary Bowlshutter
2000. Pressure sensitive circuitry combined with voice recognition
and motion detection software make this unit a bit more pricey than
the standard fare in most american homes but Frank insists it's
worth it.
"This toilet does much more than just protect your valuables. Think
of it as distinctive ring service for your telephone. I speak into
the AKG C 3000B mounted condensor microphone to open it with my
verbal password of choice. The seat is pressure sensitive and closes
the lid 10 seconds after zero weight burden. The seat cushion is
customisable from traditional hard to inflatible cloud soft and
is completely tied in with your verbal password. I say 'kumquat'
(password) and my seat inflates to maximum capacity in 2.3 seconds.
I'm kind of a big guy" Frank says as an afterthought."
